Yesterday I heard a phrase that’s been echoing in my mind ever since.
It came from Dame Deborah James — the young woman who, even while losing her battle with cancer, became a role model to so many. Even King Charles quoted her words in a speech. The quote?
“Find a life worth enjoying; take risks; love deeply; have no regrets; and always, always have rebellious hope.”
Wow.
It hit me hard, for a lot of reasons.
First, because deep down, I know this is how life should be lived. Second, because it often takes a disaster — a real, life-shaking moment — to truly appreciate the meaning behind words like these.
Years ago, after jumping between all sorts of jobs, I finally took myself away for a week. I sat myself down and asked: What is it I believe to be true?
At first, it felt almost silly. Sure, I believe the sun rises and sets. I believe planes fly, fish swim. But c’mon, Tony, challenge yourself.
What’s the real question here?
It’s about uncovering the raw essence — the deep-down driver behind my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions.
So I went full Occam’s razor on myself. I shaved it all down to a simple core idea. And here’s what I landed on:
I believe the world is a tapestry, woven from every action and interaction I’ve ever had. And those interactions either add to or take away from that tapestry.
Simple, right? Maybe even too simple. But I stuck with it.
For days, I filtered my decisions and thoughts through that belief. I even tested it with others — because the only way to know what you really believe is to put it out there, let others poke at it, and watch (with curiosity, not defensiveness) how their perspectives challenge or stretch yours.
I’m not going to lie: it was raw. Vulnerable. Sensitive. But I stayed with the process.
That was ten years ago.
Today, I still hold onto that simple belief, and it shapes my daily life.
Now, I help leaders, managers, and founders do the same — find clarity about what they believe to be true, so they can lead with deep conviction.
It’s not always a pretty journey, but it’s absolutely necessary if you want to understand your true convictions.